Memo to all students

Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of Special High Intensity Teaching (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. during a course, please see your teacher. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list.
Our teachers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Students who do not take the teacher's S.H.I.T. will be placed on the Departmental Educational Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.) list.
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Educational Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).

Since our teachers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others.
We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of Managerial Operational Research Education (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Teaching, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

Boss In General,
Special High Intensity Teaching
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

p/s:I didn't write this one..